Thursday, November 16, 2006

Sex Pistols and Starry Nipples


So you’re 13 years old, and you’re staring at the cheap plastic AM/FM radio on your bedside table, counting the minutes till you turn 18, pass your driver’s license, get the hell out of your parents' house, and embark on a career as an ‘assassin for hire’. Your first two hits, the ones that will make you famous, and justifying your $50,000-a-hit invoice will be your parents (after they buy you a car), and Miss Christhowdoyoupronouncethis - your Greek whore of a geography teacher, who refuses to acknowledge your existence even though she’s slept with half the Water Polo team and one apparently well-endowed guy from the chess club.

You’re thinking about all these things, while lying on your bedroom floor, smoking a Chesterfield filter while looking up at the Union Jack and listening to the Sex Pistols.

It’s 11:30 on a Sunday morning, and life couldn’t be more Easton Ellis-esque.

Your mom bursts in... fired up and fresh from church, having just decided that you’re going to hell unless she tears your Iron Maiden posters off the wall and throws away your sad excuse for a collection of soft porn, which amounts to nothing more than some topless Jane Fonda look-alikes with stars for nipples. She also tosses all your black clothes... all of them, even the lame ‘slippery when wet’ Bon Jovi t-shirt you almost never wear.

Remember those good old days? We here at Digital for Fish sure do. That’s why we spend all the profits we make by selling autographed Kirk Hammett nail polish on eBay to topless Freudian-Mexican therapists. And that’s why we’ve decided take it way back.

Sex Pistols – This Is Not A Love Song [MP3]

Dead Kennedys – Too Drunk To Fuck [MP3]

No post would be complete without some complete butchering and blasphemous misuse of whatever music we post. So for all you heathens, we’ve added some cheeky-sexy-french-whore-bossa-nova covers of the above two songs.

Nouvelle Vague – This Is Not A Love Song [MP3]

Nouvelle Vague – Too Drunk To Fuck [MP3]

2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

great post!

9:31 AM  
Blogger French Lessons said...

oooohhhh shit watch out french lessons this ninjarobotboy can write a post. thanks for desacrating my family name...

9:37 AM  

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